Cellar Door

I like flying kites, making paper airplanes, and I used to live in Sydney, Australia but now I'm back home in San Jose, CA. Star Trek, drinking tea, and listening to music are favorite passtimes.

e.e. cummings



e.e. cummings     g              o              e                s

to the counter &orders

an icedvanillalatte




                     onetwothreefourfive minutes

until the baristalady   w h i s t l e s   his name—

"how do you like your coffee, mr. poet?"

Brothers Grimm


The Brothers Grimm go up to the counter and order two hazelnut macchiatos. They sit in a corner and chat up every person who walks by their table, taking copious notes on their conversations. Their coffees are blacker than most people remember them.



J.D. Salinger goes up to the counter and orders an iced skinny flavored latte. He pays for it, but when the barista tries to give it to him, he instead attempts to engage her in conversation, claiming that he didn’t really want the coffee in the first place. Also, everyone is a phony.



Oscar Wilde goes up to the counter and orders a grande hot chocolate and a muffin for his invalid friend Bunbury. The barista asks him if he is ordering in earnest. No one picks up the drink.

Lemony Snicket


Lemony Snicket goes up to the counter and orders a caffé Americano. It is bitter. The barista is armed. The man in the corner has poisoned someone’s drink. The espresso machine is on fire. Lemony Snicket begins to run down the street as the Starbucks explodes. He is being chased. He spills his coffee.



Jay Gatsby goes up to the counter and orders a vanilla iced coffee, but only after being repeatedly reassured by his companion that it is a sufficiently aristocratic choice. While waiting, Gatsby daydreams about his choice: the delicate balance of bitter and sweet; the refreshing chill on this…

George R.R. Martin


George R.R. Martin goes up to the counter and orders a series of incredibly complicated drinks, each more detailed and layered than the last. The barista works for an hour and finally hands them across the counter to Martin, who promptly throws one of them away with little to no explanation. That coffee had been the barista’s favorite.

John Green


John Green goes up to the counter and orders an espresso shot. The barista gives him a venti cafe espresso frappucino. Green says, “This isn’t what I ordered.” The barista replies, “You ordered a drizzle, I’m giving you a hurricane.”